


Zackaroni

by blueskydog



Series: Question Marks [7]
Category: Bones (TV)
Genre: Gen, frienship, kinda bittersweet, macaroni
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 07:03:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17524088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueskydog/pseuds/blueskydog
Summary: Zack doesn't understand nicknames. Dr. Saroyan doesn't understand Zack.





	Zackaroni

**Author's Note:**

> Everywhere else I call her Cam, but since this is when they just start getting to know her, I figured they probably wouldn't be calling her that yet. Dr. Saroyan it is.

“Do you realize how many chemicals there are in those things?” Hodgins asked.

He plopped onto the couch next to Zack as they ate their lunch in the lounge upstairs. Zack was carefully consuming his microwaved mac-n-cheese while paging through yet another draft of one of his dissertations. The stack of papers was ridiculously tall.

“My methods of removing flesh from bones do not involve any chemicals,” Zack replied.

“No.” Hodgins jabbed his chopsticks from the takeout box at Zack’s plate. “That plate of disgustingness.”

“You don’t like macaroni and cheese?” Zack asked.

“Not even the slightest.”

“Why is that?”

“Like I said,” Hodgins said. “Chemicals.”

“Humans are comprised of a variety of chemicals,” Zack said. “I’m not sure why these chemicals seem so objectional to you.”

“Humans are made of a specific combination of chemicals,” Hodgins said. “This balance is what allows us to function. Any _imbalance_ of these chemicals, perhaps by the addition of foreign, food-borne chemicals, could at the very least lead to discomfort, or, at worst, illness, perhaps death.”

Zack took another bite. “There has yet to be any reported cases of a human death as a result of the consumption of Kraft products.”

“ _Yet,_ ” Hodgins said.

Zack returned to his dissertation.

“Are you willing to risk being the first one?” Hodgins asked.

“Why am I so much more at risk than any other consumer?” Zack asked, irritation creeping into his voice.

“You eat this stuff _every day,_ ” Hodgins said. “Sometimes more than once. Even without the chemicals factoring in, there’s something unhealthy about eating the same thing for lunch every. Single. Day.”

“On Saturdays I have sandwiches.”

“Great,” Hodgins said. “That fixes everything.”

“Hodgins, you know I have a hard time perceiving sarcasm.”

“Must be the chemicals.” He settled back into the couch.

Zack cast him a dubious glance. “I don’t see a connection.”

“Chemicals.” Hodgins smirked.

Zack huffed irritably.

Angela sauntered over holding her own box of Chinese takeout.

“Hey, boys,” she said.

Hodgins sat up slightly and scooted to give her room on the couch, cramming into Zack as he did so. Zack gave another irritated exhalation as the movement caused pages of his dissertation to slide across the table.

“You should really look into a binder for that,” Angela told him. Giving Hodgins a barely-hidden smirk, she sat on the chair across from both of them. Hodgins deflated a bit and scooted away from Zack.

“What were you two griping about?” Angela asked.

“Zack,” Hodgins said. “And his incessant consumption of microwavable pasta adorned with chemicals emulating cheese.”

Angela spotted the box next to Zack’s plate. “Oh, I used to eat that all the time when I was a kid.”

“See, Hodgins?” Zack said. “And you quite frequently remark on the positive attributes of Angela’s person. Obviously repeated consumption of this product over time does not have detrimental effects to the human body.”

Hodgins opened his mouth slightly, but found he was stuck. Angela cast him a challenging glance. How was he supposed to argue his point with Zack without making some insinuation about Angela’s person? Sometimes he really hated working with these people.

“So, Ange, what did you get for lunch?” he asked in a brilliant change of subject.

“Beef lo mein,” she said. “You?”

He nodded awkwardly. “Beef lo mein.”

Zack looked up, not understanding the pause in the conversation.

“Is it better than Brussel’s sprouts?” he asked Hodgins.

Hodgins choked on a noodle.

“Help,” Angela said without energy. “Who’s trained in CPR?”

“Heimlich would be a better maneuver in this case,” Zack said. “Hodgins, clutch your throat if you need assistance.”

Hodgins glared at both of them. “Very funny.”

“I wasn’t being funny,” Zack said. “I was informing you of the universal gesture indicating suffocation due to improper food intake.”

“Wanna talk about improper food intake? YOUR FUCKING MAC AND CHEESE.”

Angela made frantic signs at Hodgins to stop talking. He was about to let another curse fly when he saw who was walking up to them.

“Afternoon,” the woman said.

“Hi, Dr. Saroyan,” Angela said. “Want to join us for lunch?”

“Thank you, I’ve already eaten,” she responded. She glanced at Hodgins, who smiled back weakly. He wondered how much of their conversation she’d heard.

“I don’t think I’ve met you two,” Dr. Saroyan said. “I’m Camille Saroyan, the new director of the Forensics Division here at the Jeffersonian.”

“The new Dr. Goodman?” Hodgins asked. He reached out a hand to shake hers. “I’m Jack Hodgins, the Lab’s entomologist. Most people call me the ‘bug and slime’ guy.”

Dr. Saroyan gave a nod that was just a bit too deep. Hodgins wondered if that was too much, too fast.

“And who’s this?” she asked, motioning to Zack.

All eyes turned to him, but he did not look up.

“Zack,” Hodgins said.

Zack ate another spoonful of his macaroni.

“Zack!” Hodgins gave him a mighty poke.

Zack’s head snapped up and he cast Hodgins a wounded look. “What?”

Hodgins jerked his head at Saroyan.

“Hello,” Zack said.

“Zack?” she said.

“Yes,” he replied.

“Zack…?” she prompted him for his title and last name.

Zack spoke slower, as if he thought she were hard of hearing or slow on the uptake. “Yes. Zack.”

“This is Zachary Addy,” Angela put in. “He’s Dr. Brennan’s research assistant. He’s working on his dissertation right now. He gets, uh, _really_ into it.”

“Yeah,” Hodgins said. “It triggers a temporary hearing deficit.”

“Why are you all speaking for me?” Zack asked.

Hodgins cast him a sideways glare he hoped Saroyan would miss.

“Zachary, huh?” She looked at the plate by his elbow. “Who likes macaroni and cheese.”

“Every day,” Hodgins supplied.

“ _Every_ day?” Saroyan said.

“Yup,” Angela said. She and Hodgins seemed to be trying to make up for Zack’s lack of response. “Just old Zack with his mac.”

Saroyan snapped her fingers. “Zackaroni! Can I call you Zackaroni?”

Zack looked at her as if he felt sorry for her or was simply baffled. “That’s not a real word.”

“We know, sweetie,” Angela said. “It’s a nickname.”

“Oh.” His eyebrows raised. “I never had one of those before. Unless you count what I was called in school. But I probably shouldn’t say those things while we’re eating.”

Dr. Saroyan opened her mouth, brow scrunched as she tried to think of an appropriate response. Angela leapt up beside her.

“Hey, can I show you something?” she said. “Something that is very, very not here.”

She followed Angela slowly, glancing back long enough to see Zack get smacked upside the head by his companion.

“Ow!” The indignant cry followed them around the corner.

“Is something wrong with him?” Saroyan turned to Angela with great concern. “Do I need to discuss accommodations?”

“No, no, no,” Angela said. Then: “Well, yeah. Actually that’s why I pulled you aside. You see, Zack—he’s—his brain doesn’t work like a regular person’s.”

The doctor raised her eyebrows.

“Let me try again.” Angela took a breath. “He’s unique.”

“Uh-huh.” Saroyan looked unimpressed.

Angela plowed on. “He takes everything super literally, and social cues are like mysteries of the universe he just can’t find the time to solve. He’s a great kid, you know, like the smartest person you’ll ever meet after Brennan. But it’s like all that information up there doesn’t leave room for the stuff normal people work with. He’s a genius, but kind of in a heartbreaking way. People take advantage of him sometimes.”

“Is he capable of working here?” she asked.

Angela nodded vigorously. “Brennan says he’s the best assistant she’s ever had.”

“Since I have yet to gauge Dr. Brennan and her sense of quality work, I’m going to take your word for it,” Saroyan said. “For now.”

Angela gave a relieved sigh. “Thank you. I’m pretty sure if he got kicked out, he’d fall apart.”

Saroyan tilted her head. “You talk about him like he’s very fragile, but you keep saying how smart and capable he is.”

“That’s his paradox,” Angela replied.

Dr. Saroyan shifted to look back around the corner at the couch where Zack and Hodgins still sat. She saw Zack turn a page in his dissertation, moving a highlighter across the page. He set the highlighter down to reach for his fork, not taking his eyes off his work. Unbeknownst to him, Hodgins quickly switched the places of his fork and the highlighter, causing Zack to dip his highlighter into his food and try to put it in his mouth.

Hodgins almost fell over laughing, but Zack’s response was minimal. He simply put the highlighter on the table, pushing it far across the table along with his plate.

“He’s not a fighter,” she commented.

“He says there’s no logic to showing great emotion.”

“Showing?”

“We’re not saying he doesn’t feel things.” Angela tilted to look her more in the face. The doctor was wearing a strange expression that Angela couldn’t quite identify. “Hey. Are you okay?”

Saroyan shook her head. “Yes, thank you. And thank you for…” she waved her hand vaguely. “This.”

Angela smiled. “No problem.” She turned back to where the boys were eating. “Sure you don’t want to join us?”

“I’m good.” She followed Angela but kept walking after the other woman sat down. “See you later, Angela. Hodgins.” She tried to catch Zack’s eye. “Zackaroni.”

He waved his hand with an odd half-smile. “Funny. I get it.”

She chuckled to herself and went on her way. As much as she tried to walk away lighthearted—glad that her first interactions with her new co-workers were primarily positive—something nagged at the side of her brain. She was confident in her ability to work with these people, but she couldn’t help wondering if this Zack was going to cause any trouble down the line.


End file.
